In this day and age it seems that every corner of England suffers from vandalism of one kind or another. The causes are diverse and range from youthful exuberance to drink and drugs, from sheer wickedness to totally benevolent and well-intentioned malfeasance.
The local churchyard has examples a-plenty. There are the children who realise that the grassy hillocks and graves offer ideal stunt-biking opportunities. The kids mean no real harm and do little or no damage. There are hikers who leave their picnic lunch litter, but there are plenty of do-gooders to clean that up. There are the drunks and idlers.
The older parishioners however are rather more dangerous. Mindful of government edicts and with the full support of the church authorities, they are currently enjoying the redevelopment opportunities offered by the legislation that stipulates that every public place must offer proper facilities for the disabled.
A church is a public place and car parking facilities in the village are limited, so the worthy parishioners are loathe to have the parking area outside the church reduced by the designation of a disabled parking bay. Much better they reason to provide proper parking facilities within the church grounds. All you have to do is remove a few gravestones, enlarge a gateway and then tarmac over the interred remains of (to name a few) … Lucy Legg (1872), Sally Legg (1865), Charles Hipkin (1871), another Charles Hipkin (1867), Isabella Bennett (1871), James Wiggins (1879), M.A.W. (1879), Harriet Greatree (1881), Christianson (1937), John Brightwell (1887), Arthur Pink (1949), Harry Pink (1940).
And there you have it - utter desecration of a section of a churchyard to provide disabled parking for three cars, and while we are about it a new unloading bay for hearses (which require a decent turning circle after all), and surely this space will come in useful for church festivities (car boot sales?), maybe some executive parking bays for church wardens, room for a barbecue pit, and maybe we can put in parking ticket machines for non-disabled users of this new facility. Pshaw! My sincere apologies to Lucy and her neighbours for not putting up more of a fight on their behalves.
