So much to rant about … so little time!

It’s all my own bloody silly fault! I’ve de-staffed the business to such a skeletal level that the wife and I have been stretching ourselves in a fairly preposterous manner just to keep things moving. Over four hundred parcels have been shipped in two weeks and some have actually successfully reached their destinations. But the price has been high in terms of human suffering.

Wow! That sound like newspeak (“more soldiers of the Black Watch… but the price has been high in terms of human suffering”).

So, who have I missed the chance to rant about over the past couple of weeks?

George W Bush and all who voted for him must be high on the list. The staff of BMW Showroom/Service Centres almost beat the US President (and all those who voted for him) as classic examples of chinless ineptitude and people who are a total waste of time.

Then there are the murderous extremists who use religion as a shield and an excuse for their criminal deeds. Newspeak talks about “Moslem” extremists, but Irish Protestant and Catholic extremists have behaved equally appallingly in the recent past.

Then there is Manchester United!

Whoosh! I’ve just upset 1,000,000 readers who are either Irish, BMW workers, terrorists, the majority of Americans, and the world’s Manchester United fanbase.

I could, alternatively, have a rant about under-achieving retailers like M&S and Sainsburys, or, indeed, my own illustrious business where I have taken to insulting customers who are never home to receive their goods and then blame me for non-delivery.

There have been just a few better moments. The wife and I took a few hours off work last weekend to go shopping (pleasantly), and to witness the son’s hospitable firework display (very competitive in his part of Hampshire). I’ve also become interested in “festive menus”. The village pub suggests Venison with Chocolate Sauce as a Christmas main course, and Robert Harris’s “Pompeii” lists the following tantalizing fare for a feast day:

“Sow’s udder stuffed with kidneys, with the sow’s vulva served as a side dish … Roast boar filled with live thrushes…”

Yummy.