Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Rumblings

I’ve commented on Cousin Tim and his cycling exploits before. He bravely cycled from London to Paris last year raising lots of money for the Royal British Legion and is planning to do so again in September. He has asked me to give some ranting space to the “the rudeness of many British motorists to cyclists”.

Now I’m a motorist and he is a cyclist! I’ve experienced the daily tedium of driving along the Kings Road/New Kings Road at rush hour and having cyclists bashing the roof of my (stationary) car because you are “*!*?!!!*** in the way”. I’ve lived in South London where councils spend literally millions of pounds to create cycle lanes which are then totally ignored by the cyclists who prefer to obstruct the wider vehicle lanes. I now live by the South Downs where cyclists – sometimes three-abreast – spoil some of the best “driving” roads in the country. So Tim cannot expect me to rant entirely to his tune.

But I have recently taken up cycling as well. I have been spotted tottering along the lanes of the three counties on two wheels - looking rather precarious as I endeavour not to get so close to the kerb that the road surface becomes so rough that I’m likely to lose balance. It is not an enjoyable experience however. Cars, lorries, double decker buses, caravanettes, tractors, more lorries, sodding horseboxes, and other cyclists seem to crowd around me, even on the minorest of minor roads. It’s as if some GPS system has informed the local radio stations of the Ranting Nappa’s whereabouts and people have come out specially to witness the spectacle and join in the fun. And, to add to my misery, mountainous hills seem to pop up where the car had hadn’t even noticed them.

The bike has now been moved to France where things are much better because the place is so much less crowded. The other weekend I took a ten mile circuit through the local villages and was scarcely bothered by vehicles (or bloody hills) at all. The few people who are out and about give me a cheerful “bonjour”, the passing motorists expect the roads to have eccentric cyclists wobbling along, and on hearing the massive rumbling of an approaching sugar beet lorry (or the like) I have ample opportunity to get out of the way. Much better. The French understand cyclists whereas England is so damn congested that every form of vehicular activity presents itself as a menace to someone.

Talking of rumblings, why has the General Election been called now and not in a year’s time? There must be a reason and that reason seems hauntingly ominous. What perils await us (apart from £1 or more for a litre of petrol, the collapse of the Stock Market, a few terrorist attacks, Manchester United actually winning something, more taxes, more horseboxes, more council tax, and (yes, Tim) more roadworks)?