God save us from Sir Bernard (or is it “Lord”) Matthews - the turkey man. What the hell does he mean by marketing a product as “Turkey Ham”! Hundreds of thousands of pounds are being spent on TV advertisements to brainwash the new Tesco-generation of Britons into believing that such a substance exists and is good for you served like some sort of cheese on toast accompaniment.
Let’s put aside the New Labour Manifesto for a few moments and reflect, with a little help from the Shorter OED. Yes, “ham” is usually but not absolutely the product of the pig family. Yes, it refers to the meat on the upper thigh or “hough”, and technically it can come from other slaughtered animals. But a turkey? Doesn’t the poor fowl suffer enough at Christmas that it now has to have it’s legs chopped off to provide year-round sustenance to the starving customers of our supermarkets. Rant…rant…
And another thing.
The Atkins diet is not for me. I came down to the kitchen this morning and was very polite to the sister-in-law who was holding forth on a variety of topics. Now, I’m not my best as a conversationalist in the early morning, and certainly not before I’ve had a couple of mugs of strong coffee. Under Atkins I would have to give up coffee (and tea). Now I seriously believe I could survive a few weeks without alcohol (it’s happened before, even if a few people remember that month without much pleasure). But a month without coffee – no damned way. I would certainly be banned from collecting the newspaper from the village shop in the mornings (insufferable rudeness). The wife would move out (who could blame her). I’ll have to find another way to shed that stone. The cat is on something called the Hill formula diet and looks much better for it. Maybe I'll join her.
And another thing.
Seeing that tomorrow is the first day of another month I must make some real resolutions for February. "Ranting Nappa" followers will be kept abreast on progress on the following:
No gambling - especially on The National Lottery.
Regular bike rides.
Bread-free days.
Read something worthwhile.
Write a new businessplan (having been chastised for my last comments on the subject).
Smarten up.
Be polite to all members of my family.
Ho hum!
Old fogey, less-than-totally-successful bookseller, husband, parent and grandparent holds forth on his own issues of the day.
About Me
- Rumbling Nappa
- Sometimes referred to as the Rumbling Nappa I occasionally return to blogging. This time it is to comment on the Languedoc marriage of my neice, Louise Ticehurst to Rich Astley.