Saturday, March 12, 2005

Ring Tones and Terrorists

I have done my bit for Comic Relief. There was the lady who ambushed me in the Petersfield branch of Barclays Bank and obliged me to buy a raffle ticket and then, unexpectedly, I purchased (for the benefit of Comic Relief) a ring tone for my mobile phone.

Now purchasing ring tones is not something I do every day. I had heard about the special offer on the Today programme while taking my Friday morning bath and the idea amused me. The ring tone is a replica of the BBCs “pips” which still mark the hour but, boy, what an uninspired purchase. After the initial excitement of receiving the “pips” by SMS message I soon realised that I had been sold a lemon. Who in their right mind wants such a boring (and to my deaf ears virtually inaudible) ring tone? I’ve already reverted to the Nokia standard “Polska”.

Now it’s about a week since my last blog and my silence must have something to do with my self-imposed ban on ranting about political issues until after the election. Or might recent sporting events have been occupying my mind - Manchester United out of the European Cup (hurrah!), Arsenal going out of the European Cup (to be expected), Liverpool and Chelsea moving to the Quarter Finals (well done, them), Britain winning at tennis without the aid of the “retired” Tim Henman, etc.?

Actually I have been pondering on whether or not writing about the Home Secretary Charles Clarke is “political”. I know that the National Lottery is not allowed by its charter to give money to the poor or needy, or hospitals, or computers for schools and things like that because such donations might be construed as “political”; but can I just make a tiny observation about the bearded one without breaching my “politics” embargo? You see the man (like several others on the government front bench) is basically a schoolmaster. When he speaks he does so with such assumed authority that you know better than to question him lest he might throw a blackboard duster at you, or give you detention. It doesn’t matter at all about the actual content of the information he imparts, he does so with such conviction that you know better than to doubt him. One is reminded of our friend Mrs C who diligently taught her boys multiplication tables by rote. Unfortunately her “nine times” table differed from the standard version and her boys have been “mathematically confused” ever since.