“The World’s a Stage”…More Ranting

Driving to work this morning I caught another dose of parliamentary speeches on the radio (much better than on TV because you are not side-tracked by the rows of empty seats, the bored and tired expressions, or the smugness that pervades the majority party). This is pure theatre, and should be of the highest quality.

However the speakers' careful enunciation, as if they are reading from documents that have been pre-prepared by polit-bureau chiefs, really grates. Okay one should always be careful with words, but these men and (mostly) women are nauseatingly horrible as they deliver their obviously prepared speeches. There’s no spontaneity (however do you spell that word?). The only humour is artificial in a processed-cheese-sort-of-way, and the entire content of the speech might have been rehearsed endlessly in front of a mirror.

Members of the House of Commons were whingeing (carefully) about having to “forsake their constituencies in September” and get back to what they call “business” after only ten weeks’ or so holiday. Those attending the House of Lords were equally upset about this disruption to their social calendars, and the inconvenience of ongoing alterations and repairs to the building, which were having a knock-on effect to their chosen refreshment points.

These people seem so different to the star performers of years passed. I have been fortunate enough to have encountered the likes of Ian Gow, Tony Benn, Tam Dayell and Enoch Powell and have unreserved respect for their total enthusiasm for the process of government in this country. They seem miles apart from today’s spoilt and simpering elected (and non-elected) representatives, who one reads are soon to lose their free parking benefits at BAA airports.

Over-paid, enjoying fabulous work benefits, and incapable of speaking without reading from carefully rehearsed scripts, our parliamentarians are failing us. They behave like actors on a stage. Important government announcements are first “leaked” to the Press in order to maximise newsworthiness, and some vital decisions appear nowadays to be made without proper reference to Parliament at all.

Bah! I’m losing my own script – becoming more of a “rambling” Nappa than a “ranting” one.

The stage thing, though, wasn’t confined to the morning news. Driving home this evening I caught an interview with a really bizarre theatrical producer (whose name I didn’t catch). His Macbeth had witches who spoke in French (no “eye of newt”), his soldiers were Liberian freedom fighters, and his production featured cross-dressing (Scots wear skirts was the justification), extreme audience participation, and the whole thing set in Africa. Oh my!

As a postscript, gentle reader, you may ask about my punctuation thing. Well, I read a bit of Lynne Truss and, so far, I am allowed my brackets and inverted commas. I am even allowed the – occasional – dash. It’s all there to help you understand me better. But I haven’t fully mastered apostrophes yet, as you have probably noticed.

As a post-postscript, gentle reader, tonight’s news shows our parliamentarians at their dismal worst. Thousands of protesters in Parliament Square, while a small handful of MPs put an end to hunting. Why was the Chamber of the House of Commons so bloody empty at such an important time? The protesters who got into the Chamber seemed to outnumber the MPs. A dreadful night for Britain’s leaders, and for London’s Police Force, and for the poor old Serjeant-at-Arms. What a shambles this country is becoming! Rant, rant, rant.